


Rebellion

by AlexKnight002



Category: Love Live! School Idol Project, Love Live! Sunshine!!
Genre: Crack, F/F, Goth Ruby, Humor, Mild Sexual Content, Out of Character, Parody, Ruby CURSES
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-12-05
Updated: 2018-05-12
Packaged: 2019-02-11 03:02:19
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 6,377
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12925932
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AlexKnight002/pseuds/AlexKnight002
Summary: Ruby finally gets sick of being bossed around by Dia. With the help of Yoshiko, she is ready to become the edgiest edgelord the world has ever known! Crack ensues.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> I randomly came up with the idea of Ruby becoming a rebellious, edgy edgelord and decided to write it into a horrible fanfiction. I regret nothing. Warning: This is a crackfic, and everyone is very out of character. If that isn't your cup of tea, you probably won't want to read this. It also contains some sexual content, although nothing explicit, so I think it can still be rated T.

Today was yet another of Dia's lessons in manners.

"You see, Ruby, you must make every bite of food the exact same size. Otherwise, you will appear to be a savage, eating disproportionately sized bites."

Ruby took notes as her sister continued lecturing.

"I have discovered the perfect formula for dividing your meal into equal portions. First..."

As Dia was speaking, Ruby raised her hand.

"Onee-chan, I'm tired of learning things today. You've been teaching me table-side manners every day for the past month, and I just want to go have fun outside!"

"I'm sorry, but these lessons are for your own good. If you don't have a responsible teacher like me to guide you through life, then you might turn out like Yoshiko-chan!"

"It's Yohane!" explained the fallen angel, suddenly jumping through the doorway.

"What are you doing in our house?" questioned Dia. "And were you eavesdropping on us?"

"I think the real question is, why are you so full of shit?!"

Dia gasped. "Don't use such vulgar language in front of my sister!"

"No, she needs to hear this! You've been babying Ruby for her entire life, and it's about time for a change! She is going to be my little demon, overthrowing your corrupt order! Aren't you with me, Ruby-chan?"

"Don't be silly, Ruby is a good Christian girl that is responsible enough to resist your evil, unholy values."

Ruby was previously silent, but was now being pressured to make a decision. "I-I'm..."

"Come on, little demon. Join the dark side! I can teach you my ways, the way of the edge!"

"I'm sorry, Onee-chan, but Yoshiko-chan is right!" Dia gasped at her little sister's decision, as Yohane corrected Ruby's word choice.

"Ruby, why are you-?"

"No, I've had enough! You can...you can..." Ruby walked over to Yoshiko and started whispering into her ear. "What should I tell her she can do?"

"Tell her to go fuck herself."

"B-but...Onee-chan told me that curse words are evil and made by Satan!"

"Don't you want to rebel against Dia? This is your first lesson in the ways of the edge!"

"I can't, I'm too scared!"

"Do it!" exclaimed Yohane like Emperor Palpatine.

Ruby gulped, knowing what she had to do. "Dia, you can go fuck yourself! I'm so fucking tired of you being such a bitch all of the time, now get the fuck out of my life you shithead!"

Dia was so shocked at her little sister's profane outburst that she fainted as Yohane and Ruby ran away.

* * *

"I can't believe I just said that to my sister, I've never done anything like that before!"

"I am very proud of you, my demon protégé. You have already exceeded my Satanic expectations. But you still have a long way to go before you have truly mastered the edge. It may take days, weeks, months, maybe even years until you become as edgy of an edgelord as me. Are you up for the challenge?"

"Yes! Dia is always bossing me around, and this is the way of showing her that I'm not the innocent little girl she believes."

The duo soon arrived at Yoshiko's house for the training in the way of the edge.

"First, you must decide a new name to call yourself, as I did when I ascended into my identity as Yohane. Do you have any ideas?"

"In fact, I already have a name picked out! I will be known as...Obsidian, the edgiest of rocks!"

"Oh my Satan, that is perfect! Only a true edgelord could come up with such an edgy name! Now that you've gotten a new identity, you will need some new clothes that will be much more fitting for a little demon such as yourself."

"Yes, Yohane-chan!"

And so "Obsidian" learned how to be goth, listening to edgy American music like Linkin Park and giving double middle fingers to the preps.

* * *

Meanwhile, Dia was freaking out about her sister's sudden rebellion. "Oh shit oh shit oh shit where did I go wrong?! Ruby used to be so nice to me AND NOW SHE'S GONE! And I can't believe Yoshiko was the one to drive her to this, I trusted that bitch! But first, I need to go apologize to Ruby, and hopefully she'll come back home and return to being a nice Christian girl."

But walking over to Yoshiko's house, she saw a terrible sight. Ruby was walking around outside, wearing HORRIBLE, SATANIC, AND REVEALING CLOTHING!

Ruby had her hair down and it had black streaks in it. She was wearing a black corset with matching lace around it and a black leather miniskirt, pink fishnets and black combat boots and had on black lipstick, white foundation, black eyeliner and red eye shadow like Ebony Dark'ness Dementia Raven Way.

"RUBY WHAT ARE YOU WEARING?!"

"My name isn't Ruby anymore, you fucking prep. My true name is...Obsidian! Now fuck off!" She flicked Dia off, who gasped.

"What's gotten into you?" she cried. "PLEASE COME BACK TO ME, I PROMISE I'LL BE NICE TO YOU!"

"Fuck that, I'm never going back to your preppy ways! I have been enlightened by Yohane in the way of the edge! I even worship Satan now, hail Satan!"

Dia ran away screaming, going to do what she always does when she's angry, rearranging every classroom in the school to make sure every desk is equally spaced apart.

The edgelord went back into Yohane's bedroom/Satan-summoning room. "Hey, I have a great idea of something we can do to rebel against Dia," said Ruby seductively, putting her hand on the fallen angel's leg.

Yoshiko was a bit disturbed by her student of edge coming on to her. "Uhhhhhhh I have to go to the bathroom."

* * *

Meanwhile, Dia called together the rest of Aqours for an emergency meeting.

"I have called all of you here today because of a horrible event that just occurred. Ruby has...turned goth."

Everyone gasped. "What does goth mean, zura?" asked Hanamaru, eating a big Toblerone.

"It means that my perfect sister has turned into a HEATHEN just like Yoshiko!"

"That sounds really cool, zura! If Ruby's doing it, then maybe I should become goth, too!" The Japanese Amish girl ran out of the classroom, deciding to embrace the edge despite having no idea what that means.

Dis slammed her hand down on the table. "Great, we lost another member to Satan. Hopefully Hanamaru quits once she realizes what being goth entails."

"I definitely wouldn't have expected this out of Ruby," said Riko.

"Hopefully she's just going through a phase, just as most other teenagers do," replied Kanan.

Mari smirked, putting a hand on Dia's shoulder. "Like this neat freak phase you're going through right now!"

"BEING ORDERLY IS NOT A PHASE!" growled Dia, as cleanliness and organization are her favorite things, after Ruby, Jesus, the Holy Bible, and μ's.

"Anyway," she continued, "Ruby's new interest might lead to some problems for Aqours. She is now rebelling from all authority, as on her Twitter account, she said the government is "full of cock-sucking preps" and posted a rap cover of "Fuck the Police." Ruby could forever damage our reputation unless we quickly put a stop to this."

"Wait!" exclaimed Chika. "I think this whole thing might actually be for the best!"

"What are you talking about? There is nothing good about this!" replied Dia.

Chika smiled and jumped out of her chair, getting closer to the student council president. "Everyone, take a closer look at Dia-chan! Does she look like any certain character to anyone?"

Everyone got closer to Dia, before You had a realization. "Hey, Dia-chan looks just like Satsuki Kiryuin from Kill la Kill!"

Everyone gasped before nodding in agreement.

"I can't believe I never noticed this before," said Mari, starting to poke Dia's face.

"The resemblance is uncanny," agreed Kanan, also poking the now red-faced Dia

"That's what I'm saying," continued Chika. "Since Dia is Satsuki, and Ruby is now super edgy, that means that Ruby is actually Ryuko Matoi! Don't you see the connection? The possibilities are endless! We can all go to conventions cosplaying as Kill la Kill characters! This whole edgy Ruby thing is actually a blessing in disguise!"

"I'll start making the costumes!" yelled You.

"I have no idea why, but this crossover actually works," said Riko, starting to write erotic Aqours/Kill la Kill fanfiction.

"Everyone, this is not a joke!" exlaimed Dia. "Aqours is in danger! RUBY is in danger!" But it was no use, as everyone else had already left the room.

* * *

After leaving to go masturbate in the school bathroom, Riko got a phone call from Yoshiko. "Lily, I made a huge mistake!"

"You mean how you turned Ruby goth?"

"I thought it was a good idea at first, but now things are spiraling out of control! I'm pretty sure that Ruby-chan is coming on to me!"

"She is?! And do you at least like her?"

"I don't like her in that way, no. And there is one thing that is making this situation very complicated. Dia and I have secretly been sleeping together!"

"You WHAT?! B-but...how did this happen?"

"I guess I should start from the beginning. It was a few weeks ago, and we were having a sleepover at Ruby's. You and Ruby were asleep, but I was still up, performing Satanic rituals. Dia came in and told me to stop doing such sinful things and I started talking back to her. In anger, she did that irresistible wall slam thing, one thing led to another, and we got into my bed and started fucking."

"Wait, but the two of us were sharing a be-OH MY GOD!"

"Anyway, this turned into a reoccurring thing, and now we're friends with benefits."

"C-could you t-tell me about that first time again? But in extreme detail. P-please tell me everything."

"What's up with your voice? Your breathing is really heavy and-"

"I-I'm not doing anything weird, okay everything is normal right now I'm just going running right now and that's why my so breathing is so heavy okay okay right NOW GET BACK TO THE STORY!"

So Yoshiko continued her story as Riko made some questionable noises.

A few minutes later, Riko was finished "running."

"I'm just wondering, why did you turn Ruby goth in the first place?"

"I felt bad that Dia was being so controlling over Ruby and thought that she might need to rebel a little. But I went way overboard with turning her goth. I had so much power in my fallen angel hands, and it overcame me, just as how Lucifer was corrupted before being banished to hell. I taught her everything that I know about being edgy, and now she's a bigger edgelord than I am and wants to sleep with me! Only now have I realized the error in my ways. Please help me, Lily, for my little demon has turned into a monster!"

"Do you think that you could talk to Ruby and get her to go back?"

"No, it seems unlikely. Even a mighty fallen angel such as myself is powerless against the strongest edgelord."

"Then I guess your best bet is to go to Dia and apologize for everything."

Yoshiko sighed. "You're probably right. I'll head to the school and go talk to her."

* * *

Dia was angrily reorganizing the cards in a box of playing cards to the order it was in when first bought. "What kind of freak doesn't put all of the cards back into the right order every time after using them? Pathetic."

Yohane knocked on the door and stepped into the room.

"Heyyyy Dia-chan, sorry about this whole goth thing! I'd like for you to take Ruby back and forget this entire thing ever happened, kay?"

"You want me to forget? You corrupted my beloved sister! Are you seriously so dense that you think I'll forgive you?"

"Uh, yes?"

Dia's frown turned into an angry smile. "I won't forgive you so easily. You need to be punished for what you've done."

"Yes, please punish me, Master Dia. I deserve it, for I've been a naughty little demon."

Dia grabbed Yoshiko and threw her into a nearby supply closet, where they started to have sex on Riko's hidden porn collection.

But suddenly...You walked in!

"Wait, what are you two doing."

They both froze in horror. "Uhhhhhh," said Yoshiko. "We were just...our doctors told us to do this!"

"Yes," agreed Dia. "We can't disobey our doctor's orders! It's for our health!"

"Okay, cut the bullshit," said You. "I promise I won't tell anyone about this if...you let me join you!"

"Okay!" Dia and Yoshiko yelled in unison.

* * *

Later, You was now on her own, smiling evilly. "Little does anyone else know that this was my plan all along! Soon, everyone in Aqours will be part of my harem!"

**To be continued!**


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> We're back with our second chapter of this horrible story! Let's see how things turn out for Aqours!

Previously on Love Live! Sunshine!:

(Narrated by Ruby) So Dia was being a fucking bitch, and Yohane was like, "Fuck that bitch," and I was like, "Yeah, fuck that bitch," and Dia freaked out like a little bitch. Then Yohane taught me to be the edgelord that I am today, and I was reborn as Obsidian. Dia keeps being a bitch, and it turns out Dia and Yohane are lovers?! I don't know that yet, but if I did, I'D BE SO GROSSED OUT EW! And now You is starting a harem wtf? Okay, that's all.

* * *

Mari had her headphones on, blasting her favorite music like America the Beautiful and God Bless the USA.

Dia, Yoshiko, and You all exited Riko's porn closet, before freezing when they realized that the true American was standing there.

"Oh, hey Mari," said Dia with an awkward smile on her face.

Mari smirked. "What were the three of you doing in there?"

"N-nothing!" yelled Yoshiko, hiding behind Dia. "We were just..."

"We were just organizing Riko's porn collection!" said You. "You know Dia, she just has to have everything orderly, and after seeing the books not ordered alphabetically, she made us come help her fix them."

"Yep, silly me!" said Dia, scratching her mole.

"Okay then! See you around!" Mari left, as the trio sighed in relief.

Little did they know that Mari saw the entire thing on the school's security cameras.

* * *

Meanwhile, Ruby was spreading her goth knowledge onto Hanamaru.

"And that's how you can be as cool and edgy as me and Yohane!"

"I have no idea what any of this means, but it sounds fun, zura!"

Yoshiko walked into the room, about to speak to Ruby, before realizing that Hanamaru was sitting there.

"Zuramaru, could I speak to you for a moment?"

"Sure, zura!"

Yoshiko pulled her over to the hallway. "What the fuck are you doing? Why are you letting Ruby turn you goth, you're supposed to be my voice of reason?!"

"I'm honestly just here to get laid, zura! Now if you excuse me, I'll get back to Ruby, zura."

"NO ZURAMARU PLEASE COME BACK!" But Yoshiko could not stop Hanamaru from joining the edge, as the zura was too horny.

Yoshiko called Dia to tell her about the recent updates in the edge.

"It seems that another of my little demons is becoming edgy. Zuramaru has been turned to the dark side, mostly because she wants to sleep with Ruby."

"THAT BITCH BETTER NOT TOUCH MY LITTLE SISTER! If she did, I'd be forced to beat the shit out of that zura."

"But what if you accidentally killed her?"

"You're right, Hanamaru is very fragile."

* * *

A few weeks earlier:

"Hey, Kanan! Guess what, zura!"

Aqours was at their usual practice, preparing for their next song.

"What is it, Hanamaru?" replied Kanan.

"I was able to do TWO push ups, zura!"

"That's wonderful! Nice job!" Kanan high fived Hanamaru...but did it a little too hard, breaking her hand.

"AAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH MY HAND MY FUCKING HAND OH THE PAIN ZURA!"

"Oh, shit!" exclaimed Kanan in horror.

"What's going on?" asked Chika with worry.

"And why are people cursing MY LITTLE BABY SISTER IS HERE!" said Dia.

"What's wrong, Hanamaru-chan?" asked Ruby (who wasn't goth yet) fearfully. "Are you okay?"

"DO I FUCKING LOOK OKAY, MY HAND IS FUCKING BROKEN, ZURA!"

Ruby started crying and ran away.

"Wait, Ruby! I'm sorry, zura! Please come back, zura!" Running after Ruby, she tripped and twisted her ankle.

"FUCKING SHIT MY LEG, ZURA!"

Everyone was freaking out as Hanamaru rolled around in pain.

"Someone needs to call an ambulance!" yelled You.

"Don't worry, I can get her there faster," said Mari.

"NO!" everyone screamed.

"Are you insane?" asked Riko. "Both of you are going to get killed!"

"It'll be fine," said Mari, picking up Hanamaru and throwing her in the back of her car.

Mari started driving and instantly crashed into a tree.

* * *

Present day:

"So I don't accidentally kill someone so weak, I'll just have to punish her in another way," said Dia.

"Like making her sit through one of your lectures on manners?"

"I'm supposed to punish her, not reward her. I'll think of something eventually that's legal and won't result in any dead members. By the way, I think we accidentally joined a harem."

* * *

Riko just walked out of her porn closet, before noticing a strange flyer taped to the wall.

**I'm a local girl starting a lesbian harem, please join!**

At the bottom, a phone number was written. "Wait, isn't that You's number?"

"Hi, Riko!" yelled Mari. "Have you seen Ruby anywhere?"

"No, I haven't seen her today. What do you need her for?"

"Oh, nothing." But the real reason why Mari wanted to find her is because she secretly has a fetish for goth girls. Already having slept with Yohane before the edgelord got together with Dia, Mari is now filled with an extreme lust for Ruby.

Ruby was at home listening to her edgy music while Hanamaru ate some chocolate.

Someone knocked on the door, and so Ruby got up to answer it. On the other side was Mari, wearing only American flag lingerie and a cowboy hat!

"Mari-chan, wha-?!"

"Shhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh," seductively shushed the American for about 30 seconds. "I want yooooooooooooooooooooooooooou to have sex with meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!" She made the words longer to be sexy, and it was working.

"Dia told me that having sex before marriage is sinful, so okay! Ganbaruby!"

And so Mari and Ruby jumped onto their bed and started having sex as Hanamaru watched.

But suddenly, someone kicked down the door! "What the hell are you doing you motherfuckers?!" It was...Dia!

**To be continued!**


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I can't believe Sunshine is over! At least we still have the movie coming up. And luckily, we have this great story WHICH IS WAY BETTER THAN THE SHOW AND EVERYONE IS PERFECTLY IN CHARACTER! I'm sorry for this chapter, Dia (you're still my favorite).

Previously on Love Live! Sunshine!:

(Narrated by Dia) After my...encounter with Yoshiko and You, Mari appeared and began to question us. I was luckily able to convince her that nothing was going on with my careful tact, but I had no idea of my friend's true intent in the situation. Hanamaru also joined Ruby in her SINFUL ways, and Yoshiko and I reminisced about a strange situation that involved her suffering many injuries. Meanwhile, the vile snake known as Mari started to violate my innocent sister! I quickly entered the room to witness this horrific event, filled with rage.

* * *

"What the hell are you doing you motherfuckers!"

Both Mari and Ruby screamed in shock as Dia caught them doing the sex. Mari tossed the younger girl off of her, who landed on Hanamaru.

"Hey, Dia-chan," she said casually. "What's up?"

"What's up? WHAT'S UP?! YOU FUCKING KNOW WHAT'S UP YOU BITCH! I can't believe my BEST FRIEND betrayed me by defiling my beloved sister!"

"I wasn't doing anything inappropriate to her! We both had some bad rashes, and so we were examining them to make sure they weren't getting worse! Right, Ruby-chan?"

"R-right!" said Ruby in fear, still on top of Hanamaru. The zura continued to eat some Cheetos while this was going on.

"So please don't be mad, Dia! I'd never sleep with Ruby!"

"BUU BUU DESU WA, THAT'S UTTER BULLSHIT! Not only do you betray my trust and do TERRIBLE, SINFUL THINGS to my beautiful sister, but you continue to lie like the coward you are!"

"But Dia," said Ruby, "I chose to sleep with Mari, it wasn't her fault!"

"Quiet, you!" yelled Dia. "The adults are talking!"

"YOU'RE SO MEAN, ONEE-CHAN! YOU RUINED MY LIFE!"

Wooby started crying and jumped off of Hanamaru's lap, grabbing her clothes and running away.

"This is your fault, Mari. I will make you suffer."

"N-no, Dia! Let's think things through! You don't want to do hurt your good friend Mari!"

"You are my friend no longer. I will feel no regret over beating the shit out of you."

Mari started slowly backing away. "Heh, we just pranked you! This was all just an elaborate prank!"

Dia's expression remained the same, a furious death glare.

"Don't you get it? This is all just joke! I-it's joke! IT'S JOKE!"

"It's no joke, Mari. Prepare to suffer." Dia pulled out a crowbar.

"AAAAAAHHHHHH SOMEONE HELP!" shrieked Mari.

Suddenly, Kanan kicked down the door. "What's going on here! Why is Mari naked? Why is Dia angrily holding a crowbar? And why is Hanamaru just eating a Big Mac and some rice balls like nothing's happening?"

"I am merely punishing this wrongdoer for her horrible deeds! She HAD SEX WITH RUBY!"

"I didn't do anything wrong, Ruby was completely fine with it!"

"YOU TOOK MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY!"

"Ruby wasn't a virgin, she already slept with Chika a few weeks ago!"

"That doesn't count, we've all slept with Chika at some point."

"Guys, can we calm down?" asked Kanan. "I have to agree with Mari, since it was Ruby's choice to have sex with her."

"LIKE I GIVE A SHIT WHOSE CHOICE IT WAS! I can't believe my other, shittier best friend has betrayed me as well."

"If you're gonna hurt Mari, you'll have to go through me!"

"Oh yeah? We will see about that! Time for you to face off against my kabedon attack!"

Everyone gasped.

Mari was the most terrified. "Oh my god, Dia's kabedon attack is unstoppable!"

"That's right," said Dia, posing evilly. "No one can resist my kabedon charms, as being hit by my attack will cause instant orgasm!"

Kanan flexed her muscles with a smug look on her face. "I'd like to see you try!"

Dia slammed the taller girl against the wall, but to no effect! "H-how is this possible! Why aren't you having an orgasm right now?"

"Do you really think that your kabedon attack can do anything against THIS!" She lifts up her shirt to show off her sexy abs.

"Dayum!" exclaimed Mari, currently hiding behind a still eating zura.

Dia started to panic. "IMPOSSIBLE! HOW CAN THIS BE!" But she didn't give up yet, continuing to slam her against the wall. This was noticeably taking a toll on Kanan, as she started sweating and breathing heavily.

"T-that's it!" Kanan yelled. She kicked Dia, sending her flying across the room. While Dia was on the ground, she got out some rope and tied her up, leaving her in the room.

"YOU CANNOT DO THIS! DON'T YOU DARE LEAVE ME!"

"See ya later, Dia!"

"My hero!" said Mari, jumping into Kanan's arms.

"Now, let's get you out of here! And dressed."

Kanan walked out of the room, carrying away Mari, while Dia was still tied up and Hanamaru still didn't give a shit, pulling out some Doritos.

* * *

A few minutes later:

Mari and Kanan were walking around on the beach.

"I can't believe Dia was really going to do that," said Kanan.

"Eh, this is normal for Dia. She'll get over it in a few days."

"I guess you're right. Anyway, I have something to ask you. Mari, will you go out with me?"

"Well, no."

"What? Why not?"

"Sorry, but I only date goth girls!"

"Can you at least go on a pity date with me?"

"Eh, no."

"Can we at least go as friends?"

"Meh."

In anger, Kanan tossed Mari into the ocean and just walked away.

* * *

Meanwhile in Ruby's room:

Ruby was on a video call with her good friend Leah.

"I'm glad that you decided to embrace the edge just like me," said Leah happily but edgily.

"Yeah, I feel so much cooler now!"

"Anyway, what's been bothering you?"

"It's Dia! My sister is being so mean! She doesn't let me have any fun, and she's ruining my life!"

"I'm sorry to hear that, although I always thought Dia was kind of a bitch."

"THE FUCK DID YOU SAY ABOUT MY ONEE-CHAN?!"

"What, you were complaining about her, so I joined in."

"YOU HAVE NO RIGHT TO INSULT ONEE-CHAN, YOU BITCH! SHE'S WAY BETTER THAN YOUR SHITTY SISTER!"

"YOU FUCKING BITCH HOW DARE YOU INSULT SARAH! EAT A DICK, FUCKER!"

* * *

Meanwhile in the student council room:

Dia has her head down on the desk as Chika walked in.

"Hey, Dia-san!"

"Could you come back later, I'm feeling a bit under the weather right now. And didn't I ask everyone to call me Dia-chan?"

"Oh, sorry about that, Dia-san, I mean Dia-san! Wait, no, I mean Dia-san I mean, shit-!"

"Get the fuck out."

"Sorry, Dia-san, wait, shit-!" Dia threw a book at Chika, causing her to run away.

"Great, when I threw that book at Chika, one of its pages was bent. I can't have a book like that, the only solution is to burn that abomination."

Yoshiko walked into the room, looking happier than usual. Hanamaru followed her inside.

"Dia, my little demon Zuramaru has returned."

"But I thought you decided to join Ruby in sin?" asked the upperclassman.

"I did, but I changed my mind, zura. I honestly just wanted to sleep with Ruby after becoming goth like her, but I decided that that probably isn't a good idea after seeing how you would react, zura."

"Good call," Dia said. "I guess we should now begin planning how we will turn Ruby back to the side of God! First we need to figure out who else we have on our side."

Dia got out a whiteboard with pictures of each Aqours member on it.

"Kanan and Mari definitely can't be trusted, so the only possible people that can assist us are the second years."

Yoshiko smiled. "Lily is my second little demon, so I can get her to join our cause."

"I'm not so sure about Chika, though, zura."

"I agree, she could go either way," said Dia. "What about You, do any of you know if we can trust her?"

"I mean, we are part of her harem," said Yoshiko. "Maybe that'll help."

"Wow, you're part of You's harem too, zura? That's cool, zura!" Hanamaru gave her friend a hi-five.

"I have a good feeling about this team up," said Yoshiko. "I can hear Satan's voice from the depths of hell-"

"Please do not speak of your Satanist nonsense while we're doing this, it is what got us into this trouble in the first place."

"Fine, whatever."

And so they got to work on a plan. But unbeknownst to the trio, Mari was watching their plan on the security cameras and was ready for revenge against Dia.

**To be continued!**


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's been quite a while since the last chapter! Anyway, this is the next to the last chapter! I hope you guys enjoy it, as everyone is EVEN MORE IN CHARACTER THAN LAST TIME!

Previously on Love Live! Sunshine!:

(Narrated by Zura) Gee, so many crazy things happened yesterday, zura! First, Dia caught Mari doin' some dirty stuff with Ruby-chan, and she was madder than a boar, zura! She was fixin' to beat up Mari, but was luckily saved by Kanan, zura. I may be on Dia's team, but she sure is scary, zura! Kanan beat Dia and rescued Mari, while I ate some delicious food that I stashed away, zura. But then Mari friend-zoned Kanan, who threw her into the ocean, zura! Ruby gets into an argument with Leah, and Chika makes Dia super mad by calling her the wrong honorific, zura. And finally, Yoshiko-chan and I joined up with Dia to return Ruby to the light, zura. (Although I mostly just joined her so that she wouldn't murder me, zura.)

* * *

"Hello, Riko-san," said Dia.

"W-where did you guys come from?" she asked, quickly stuffing away her porn. "And what are you doing in my house?"

"We have an important mission for you, my little demon," said Yoshiko.

"As you know, my sister has been corrupted by Yoshiko-san-"

"It's Yo-"

"Quiet, bitch-san! You don't deserve to speak after what you did!"

"Hey, at least I'm on your side now!"

"Whatever. As I was saying before I was rudely interrupted by Yoshiko-san-" Yoshiko started to speak before Hanamaru covered her mouth with her hands.

"Now's not the time, zura."

Dia continues, "She has continued to stumble down a dangerous path. Mari has continued my perfect imouto's corruption, sexually violating her. After seeing that pig violate Ruby, I heroically fought back to save her innocence from being stripped away any further. But my attack was unsuccessful, and now Mari and Ruby have declared war on me. I have already formed a team with Yoshiko and Hanamaru, but we need more people for this fight. Would you join this noble cause against the malicious Mari?"

"Well, I-"

"Wait!" yelled Mari, jumping out from Riko's closet. "Hiya, Dia! And what's up, Riko!"

"You have a lot of nerve showing up here," said Dia.

"What the hell, how long have you been in my closet?" asked Riko.

"I've been here for hours! By the way, Riko-chan, you have a very nice collection of porn in here!"

"N-NO I DON'T THAT ISN'T MINE OR ANYTHING I WAS JUST KEEPING IT SAFE FOR A FRIEND OF MINE FROM TOKYO AND-"

"Sssshhhhhhhhhh," shushed Mari. "I just totally want you to join me against dictator Dia. Ruby-chan and I had consensual sex, when Dia suddenly attacked me! I'm just fighting back against a heartless bitch!"

"Do not listen to her!" commanded Dia "You cannot trust any word that comes out of her mouth! Join me!"

"No, join me!"

"I don't want to join either of you!" exclaimed Riko as the other girls gasped. "Honestly, the two of you are just being childish. I'm not getting involved in these personal matters."

"You bitch, I THOUGHT YOU WERE ONE OF THE SMART ONES!" yelled Dia.

"Why don't you join me, Riko," said Mari. "Maybe you'll be more likely to join me when you realize what I have of yours!" Mari pulled out some of Riko's porn and started to tear the pages.

"NOOOO, MY PORN I MEAN MY FRIEND'S PORN! PLEASE DON'T HURT IT!"

"I won't hurt it if you join me!"

But before she could do anything, Dia jumped onto Mari's back, causing her to drop the porn.

"Get away from Riko, she is on my side!"

"Get the fuck off me!"

While the two third-years were fighting, Riko grabbed her porn and started to run.

"She's gettin' away, zura!"

Everyone began chasing after Riko.

"COME BACK HERE! JOIN ME!" yelled Dia.

"NO, JOIN ME!"

"AAAHHHH SOMEONE SAVE ME!"

Suddenly, a car driven by a young women drove up.

"Please help me!"

"I'll help, get in!" They drove off as the remaining high schoolers panted in exhaustion.

"Shit, she got away," said Dia.

"Hey, it's You!" Mari said, pointing to her as she walked up to them. "Oh, hi, You! GET IT!"

"Hey, everyone! What's up?"

"Watanabe-san, we are having an argument based on the fact that Mari is a complete monster that must be stopped. Will you join my side."

"Cough cough join me instead cough cough Dia sucks cough cough."

You thought for a second. "Well-"

She was quickly interrupted by Mari, who said, "Look, it's Chika!" Everyone left You, leaving her sad and alone.

"Hello darkness my old friend," she sang.

* * *

Meanwhile, Riko was in the car with the stranger.

"Thank you for helping me!"

"It's nothing! I'm glad to help anyone in need!"

"Hey, aren't you that girl from μ's?"

"Yes, I'm glad you recognized the number one idol Nico Yazawa! I bet you want Nico's autograph, don't you?"

"Not especially."

"There's no need to be shy, you can admit how big of a fan you are. I know! For such a great fan of mine, I should personally show you my greatest pose! Nico Nico N-"

"Don't do it while you're dri-"

*CRASH*

* * *

BACK TO YOU:

That night, You was sadly sitting on a bench outside. "Why can't I just get some more screen time? It's like everyone pays more attention to Chika than me. I hoped that starting a harem would change things, but it seems that everything is still the same."

"I feel your pain," said a voice behind You. She looked back to see Kanan. "I don't get very much screen time either."

"Sorry, Kanan. I guess our friends will just continue to ignore us."

"Hey, how about the two of us go get something to eat?"

"That would be great! Let's go!"

And so they went on a date together that ended with a sweaty and muscular sexy time.

A few hours later, Riko got back from the hospital.

"I wonder where You is. Maybe I should to check up on her." She was wearing a cast that Mari drew penises on while she was sleeping.

But when next to You's house, Riko heard some strange noises from inside. Looking in the window, she saw You and Kanan engaged in the muscle muscle muscle sex! "Oh my god, I shouldn't be looking at this!" But she just couldn't look away from their glistening abs. "Maybe they would be fine with me looking! I mean, they did leave the window open! They shouldn't mind me watching a little while longer." Fucking pervert.

* * *

Meanwhile, Dia, Yoshiko, and Zuramaru were back in the student council room. "Well, today was a disaster," said Dia. "Everyone else refused to join our side."

"It wasn't all bad, zura! I got a tasty chocolate bar from the vending machine, zura. And Yoshiko-chan got attacked by a bird!"

"It's Yohane, and that wasn't funny! You have no idea how painful those claws are when they bury into your flesh!"

"Can you two quit being so immature for once? You are the ones that got us into this mess in the first place!"

"How was this my fault, zura?"

"You introduced my innocent Ruby to pornographic content, filling her mind with sinful sexual thoughts!"

* * *

FLASHBACK!

A few months earlier:

"Look at what I found, zura!" Hanamaru said to Yoshiko and Ruby.

"I wanna see!" exclaimed Ruby.

"No let me see first!" Yoshiko pushed Ruby out of the way to see what Hanamaru had on her phone, but upon seeing it, her face turned bright red, redder than the flames of hell. "Uhh...why are you showing us this?"

"What is it?" asked Ruby. When she too looked at the phone, she realized that Hanamaru was showing them porn!

"AHHHHH ONEE-CHAN TOLD ME TO STAY AWAY FROM SINFUL THINGS LIKE THAT!" She ran away to go tell Dia.

"Isn't this video hilarious, zura? They're having sex, and they posted a video online, zura! It's so funny, don't you think, zura?"

"Um, could we maybe look at something else?" asked Yoshiko, feeling rather uncomfortable.

"What's wrong, zura? You don't think it's funny, zura?"

Suddenly, Dia smashed into The Room with her sister hiding behind her. "What the hell did you show my innocent little sister?!"

"Howdy, Dia-san, zura! I found a funny video and showed it to Ruby-chan, zura."

"Funny? You find this SINFUL video funny?!"

Dia grabbed onto Hanamaru as Ruby covered her eyes.

"You're kinda hurting me, zura."

"Good! Tsushima-san, open the window."

"But why?"

"DO IT!"

The fallen angel obeyed her senpai, opening the window. Suddenly, Dia picked up Zuramaru and threw her out the window!

"ZUUURAAAA!"

"Jesus Christ I mean Satan!" said Yoshiko in horror.

"Will Hanamaru-chan be okay?" asked Ruby.

"Not if she ever pulls something like that again! Now, let's do some extra praying to make up for the sin that you were forced to witness."

"Yes, Onee-chan."

* * *

PRESENT DAY:

"I forgot all about that, zura! Those were good times, zura."

"Anyway," said Dia. "Today was nothing but a huge mess. We weren't able to convince anyone to join our side, although Mari wasn't able to get anyone to join them either. To think of better ideas for defeating malicious Mari, I must meditate!"

"And I'll enter the realm of Satan to access his Satanic power! MWAHAHA!" By entering the realm of Satan, Yohane meant that she would go into her pillow fort that she built in the student council room and play some Pokémon.

Dia closed her eyes as Yoshiko started playing her game.

"Oh, you're playing Poker Men, can I play too, zura?"

"QUIET DOWN, KOMASAN!" screamed Dia. "I AM MEDITATING, AND YOU ARE RUINING MY CONCENTRATION!"

"Sorry, zura. If anyone needs me, I'll be masturbating in the other room, zura.

* * *

Meanwhile...

"Lol!" said Mari threateningly. "Soon I'll have totally beaten Dia I mean Diarrhea, and she'll never get in the way of our sex ever again!"

"Yeah," said Ruby rather distantly.

"Are you okay, Ruby-chan?"

"I'm fine, I'm just tired. Tired of Dia being a piece of shit, ha!"

"Good, because tomorrow is a big day! We're gonna show her what happens when she gets in the way of my having sex with goth chicks!"

As Mari left the room, Ruby started to frown. "W-what should I do?"

* * *

AT THE HOSPITAL:

Upon hearing the news that a famous member of μ's was at the nearby hospital, Dia rushed over and burst into the room. "OH. MY. GOD. I-it's...Ni-Ni-Ni-Nnnnnnnnnndskj;falnf;dljkfaklfj;dljkjdjjjdjdjjjj;kpppppppppppppzzzzjdfk;dfj1111111111"

"There's no reason to be shy around Nico!" said the number one idol, wearing a cast on her leg. "I'm glad to meet another one of my fans today! Do you want an autograph?" Nico reached out to touch Dia's arm.

"Dddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddda;sldkfjndv.,mzxc'10100101010001001001010111010000010111001011001011010001010101101101100" answered Dia.

"Or do you want something more than an autograph?" Nico started unbuttoning her shirt.

"h"

(INSERT SEX NOISES HERE)

"Nico Nico Niiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii~!"

(MORE SEX NOISES)

Little did they know that the rest of μ's was standing right outside the door the entire time and heard everything.

**TO BE CONTINUED!**


End file.
